The Kentucky Times
Apply for a second job at KFC today, earn 1 free hat!
Father KFC, Colonol Sanders, has offically declared a state of emergency due to the heavy bone hail that has been affecting the lower regions near KFC county. If you live in the following areas: KFC Country, KFC County, KFC town & KFC beach be advised to keep your chickens inside.
Spongebob Squarepants has been arrested and charged with the federal level crimes of multiple hit and runs, domestic terrorisom, murder, manslaughter, attempted murder and drug possession. Spongebob has been apprehended outside of Mrs.Puff’s boating school, witness statement. “It was horrid! He just plowed right through a school of guppies and the health inspector, then he hit an old man with his boat, then sped off, killing me!” -Victim Squidward Tentacles SpongeBob Squarepants Official statement: “And i'll do it again bitch.” May these victims rest in colorful, artificial rocks under the sea.
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class labeled appropriate for all sub-headlines, experts say
In other news, the Xiao army has just been deployed in KFC city. Officals are blocking off areas affected by this war, so expect most subway trains wont be in service.
Zhongi offical statement, "We are currently attempting to prevent the army from accessing the information of the 12 herbs in spices kept in the capital. This is a tough battle to fight as all KFC workers must remain inside the building, but of course every establishment is well prepared for any unwelcomed intruder."
As of today, 1289, May 20th, Cale has still has not devolped dementia. But an important notice for parents, are you tired of having to pay Keila Hampter the 4th to infect your offspring with dementia? Well no longer shall you need to worry! As of right now onward, you can get a free dementia shot for any child under the age 4.
KFC MINIMUM WAGE RAISED TO 1¢ PER DAYS WORK
"The market for KFC dating simulaters in georgian is booming, I swear!" -Daddy Deepfried to Deepfried Batman
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100% of KFCitizen's love Father KFC!
A recent study of Citizens within KFCountry are 100% devoted to Father KFC! Another study shows 99% of all workers support the 12 dollars per year wage, 1%'s exocution will be held on March 20th, 2025 at 12:55, they will be boiled in the lunchroom.
Being paid a "liviable wage" is stupid and boring.
"Being paid a liviable wage is objectivally stupid! Who needs money for food when the empire is all you need to live?" Vote Colonol Sanders for a 67th term.
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